Engaging Times

Greetings Future Generations,


I’m home. The house on Twiki Island is cozy. I saw to the estate affairs and chose to keep the house. I figured why not, after all it was a gift. BJ meant for me to have it. He had even put a nursery in one of the rooms… in several shades of pink.


Daddy was pleased to see me home safely and said he was glad to see me back to my old self… I hadn’t realized I lost myself. He said I haven’t smiled like this since I came home from college. He missed the old sparkle in my eyes… said whatever it was that I did on the island, it agreed with me.
Only it didn’t… or more accurately he didn’t.


I must say the shock of seeing Randall was something. My heart stopped, I couldn’t breathe, I was torn between anger and joy. While I was very specific with him, I told him I needed time to sort through things, a small part of me rejoiced that he didn’t listen.


It’s a long flight from Founders Folly to Twiki Island. We sat and talked over a light meal. He spoke his mind as he always has and I spoke mine. In the end it was all I could do to hold on to my resolve. He made some valid points. He gave me a lot to think over. Its not as if I could simply dismiss what he had to say. This is after all my Randall, my first love, my first… everything.


He told me I was being selfish. He has every right to be in our son’s life. I never said he is his child. He pointed out that I never denied it either. How do you win an argument with a man who knows you so well?


I did the usual things when I need time to think. I swam in the ocean for hours until my limbs were so exhausted I could barely make it to shore.


I even sat in the sauna until I thought I couldn’t perspire any more. Nothing seemed to be working. I could no longer see my point of view. He had worn me down. He punched holes in every argument I could give him. In the end he is right. I love him. I’m in love with him and the only reason I married BJ was for the security I thought he could provide me and my son.


For the rest of our time on Twiki Island, we spent it together, in each other’s arms. It was a magical time. We danced, we loved, we talked, we kissed… among other things…


We even went to see what else this lovely paradise had to offer. While he was initially spooked by a pirate ghost captain, we did have fun meeting him.


Our last day was the hardest. We were flying out first thing in the morning. It was once again time for me to say good bye to my love. It was time to go back home to my family and my responsibilities. I didn’t want this time to end. I wanted to cherish this last day together.


By nightfall, it was obvious that we both had a lot on our minds… mainly our future. I tried once more to explain to him my position in the family. The importance of being the heiress to the Strickland home and my responsibilities to the family and our home. He was put off at first. He asked me about my responsibility to myself. I tried to make him understand, my feelings… my wants… my dreams… none of them matter.
What did he expect from me? That I was simply going to forget everything that I have worked for? No… those times are over. It was time to go home and as much as I may love him, my responsibility to my family comes first. My son must come first. Everything I am, everything I do is for Alexander.


The next morning we went back to Founders Folly. Neither of us had slept the night before. He still tried to convince me to do what is right for me. I told him I am. He says he won’t give up on me. He loves me. I will miss him dearly.

Regards,

Angel

Front Page

Next Journal Entry