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True Journal Wednesday, Fall Year 18

Twelve Gods, when I screw up, I truly screw up. How often does she read my journal? I have no idea. She’s never had qualms about anything I’ve written before. Well she read my last entry and she hit the roof. My journal is now electronic and I have resorted to encrypting a private one in hopes of keeping family unity.
Allyn has become suspicious of everything. She has gone so far as to accuse me of bringing that new contraption to the house. Why in the name of Twelve Gods would I do such a thing? She swears it isn’t hers. I want to believe her. So if it isn’t hers, who does it belong to and where did it come from?


Allyn and René really are bonding. I think it’s great. I just worry about the late nights. They don’t even come in from the rain some nights. They just stare up at the stars, point out the shooting ones and make wishes. Who knows what they’re wishing for, neither one of them will speak to me about their time out there.


What really concerns me is René. His grades have dropped, he doesn’t study and claims he never has homework. This is his senior year… I don’t think he wants to go to college anymore. He refuses to even take his grades seriously. What happened to my son? Where is that driven boy I once knew?


Some how through all this, Angel has remained relatively untouched by it all. She loves her mother, enjoys Lisa’s company and is my ears and eyes in the house. I can’t be every where and I fear that the two women in the house are going to either come to blows or at the very least a screaming match in which I will undoubtedly have to fire Lisa.
Angel and I have our quiet private moments as I tuck her in to bed. That’s when I ask her about her day. That’s when she tells me all about school and everything that goes on in the house. I think she knows how important these talks are for me… I just hope I’m not abusing her trust.




Allyn swears Lisa is trying to get between her and Frank. I don’t see how. Lisa simply takes care of the boy, its Frank who cries every time Allyn tries to hold him. Much like Angel did… I think its Allyn’s depression talking. Frank still prefers Lisa to his mom.


I had asked Lisa to meet with me yesterday morning. The house was quiet, everyone was still asleep as I sat eating my usual breakfast. Some habits are hard to break and I still love a gooey grilled cheese in the morning.
I knew something had gone a bit sour at Frank’s birthday the night before, but I didn’t know what to think of Allyn’s ramblings. So I was eager to hear Lisa’s side of the story before things got out of hand.


Lisa had given Frank a bath shortly after his plunge in to his birthday cake. She had noticed how he had stopped eating it and began rubbing his eyes, managing to smear the frosting in his face and hair. I thought it was a bit comical myself, the boy was truly a chocolate mess.


After his bath, she put him in his pajamas and laid him down to sleep as she has done numerous times throughout his short life. Only this time she was met with Allyn who insisted Frank wasn’t sleepy. Lisa told her perhaps she had misread his usual signs and Allyn was right.


Of course she hadn’t really, she was trying to appease Allyn and not start an argument. Frank was wiped out and slept till his 2:00 am feeding.


I know Lisa isn’t lying about this. Its written on her face. I don’t think she’s even capable of lying to me… and that’s when she hit me with it. A vacation…


Allyn is back home. Lisa asked if she could have a few days vacation… I was floored really. I don’t know why but my stomach lurched at the thought of her not being here… of her going off to do who knows what… with out us… without… me.

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